I knew I would pay for it. I masturbated when I was a kid and I continued it into marriage. Now I just don’t enjoy sex. This is my punishment, I guess.
HUSBAND
This man guesses wrong. Masturbation cannot cause any trouble for anyone unless it is engaged in against one’s own moral sanctions. It is an excellent educational opportunity, can lead to intense orgasms and a degree of psychasms through imagery, and is one way to develop sexual comfort and sexual self-esteem.
One problem, though, is that men tend to masturbate incorrectly. They try to get it done quickly, and their posture, technique, process, timing, and stimulation are all wrong. It does not train them for interaction with a partner but rather to “get off” or to “get rid of tension.” For men and women, masturbation offers an excellent opportunity for learning about the body, but may end up teaching a lesson of guilt, hurriedness, and secretiveness about sex.
The fact is that masturbation is separate from other forms of sexual behavior. It is not something that is done because you don’t have a partner, because you can’t find a partner, or because it must be done to be “good at sex.” It is not something that means that sex with your partner is not as good as it should be. Masturbation is one form of sexual stimulation, and if it is an option chosen with comfort and a sense of self-enhancement, it is generally helpful to sexuality in all areas of life. If you don’t masturbate, it means one thing: You don’t masturbate. It is not a sign of a hang-up or deficiency. It is no big deal unless we make it so. It probably gets too much good press and too much bad press, and it needs much more truth in advertising. It is a human sexual option.
Masturbation, or at least pleasurable self-exploration, can teach much about the F and R areas (and the G and Ñ areas in women). It can teach about the types of orgasm, about psychasms. But it teaches nothing but negative lessons if you feel badly about yourself for doing it.
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